i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize