i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
