he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
