butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
be right there i have to get my cape
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
