Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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