you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
