he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
