how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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