eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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