I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Randomize
