Me. At least after what I've been through.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
