It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
And then he peed in my hair
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