Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
