4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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