I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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