Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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