I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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