i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
