ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
