I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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