But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
