I'm gonna have a badass scar
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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