Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
it hurts more in the daytime
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Green mimosas i think yes
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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