Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
