Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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