My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize