i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
