so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
