it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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