Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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