Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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