stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
