i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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