I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
