Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I will pee on everything he values.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
