We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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