I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
