So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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