: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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