Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
