Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize