at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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