We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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