If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
