he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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