I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
it's like heaven, but drunker
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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