We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
