Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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