ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
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