im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
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