i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
