My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
