Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize