Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
