i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
