i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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