omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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