Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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