Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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