its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
