Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
