Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize