I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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