I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Randomize
