Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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