whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
