Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
