giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
