the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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