I wanna passion pit in your ass
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
