i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
