i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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