i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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