You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
