Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
