Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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