I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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