He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
