I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
