I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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