I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
