you guys were way drunker than both of me
where does the pee come out of this thing
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
